Shark Bytes

Hey, I've got a great idea for a new TV show! Sonny and Cher had a top 10 hit, but they've just divorced, so...we'll graft their proven formula onto a couple who CAN'T get divorced...'cause they're brother and sister! And get this...they're also Mormons! See, we got the wholesome angle all squared away. They'll bicker like Sonny and Cher, then they'll sing duets like Sonny and Cher, then they'll perform really lame skits like Sonny and Cher. They'll even occasionally "break the fourth wall" like Sonny and Cher. And we'll get Cher's costumier, Bob Mackie, to clothe Marie.

Hmmmm...Donny's not short like Sonny, so we can't have any running gags about him being a shrimp...wait! I've got it! We'll do a running gag about Donny wearing purple socks!

And we'll add ice skaters and their little brother Jimmy, and, and...

*bolts upright in bed, sweaty and gasping, before lying down and going back to sleep*

If only this show HAD been only a fever dream...

In answer to the question: Does anyone remember seeing the rarely-seen pilot for "Gilligan's Island",when it aired on TBS years ago and had a DIFFERENT, more reggae theme, a different Professor, and no Ginger and Mary Ann? YOU CAN VIEW IT ON: youtube.com

From Stewie: I'm a little bit country... I'm a little bit queasy.

One word: J I M M Y ! ! ! ! !

I was just a kid and saw the movie "Jaws" and was terrified of the water. Then I turned on the television and saw these two morons, I mean Mormons, and had post-traumatic-stress-disorder from their teeth. I was then scared of my own living room. Marie had nice knockers though!

They are both very talented, and I think time has shown them to have the last laugh for being criticized for their wholesome ways.How many "cool" seventies singers are still around in good health?

I can't beleive how long it's been since this was on Donny is STILL a hunk.

I loved this show as a kid. (kids were their primary audience) They were talented singers and had the type of humor that kids appreciate. Had I first seen this as an adult, I probably would have thought it was total nonsense. But keeping it in perspective, it ran its course.

Like every other third grade girl, I had the BIGGEST crush on Donny.

Like many other shows, this must be judged based on who it was meant for. You can't judge it from an adult point of view. It was never meant for adults, except to watch with their kids.

This show pretty much started in shark-infested waters. I remember the joke writers made a big deal out of Donny's habit of wearing purple socks. If that's comedy, you're headed for the shark at full throttle.

I loved Donny and Marie show but then I loved Donny and Marie, I was a fan of theirs and the Osmond Brothers back in the day, so it would stand to reason I would like their show. However, I didn't like all elements of the show, I didn't like the skating routines every week, I didn't know why these skaters were needed and every week it seem like their skating routines were the same as the week before. I also wasn't too keen on Jimmy, hey I think there's a real reason why he is the only Osmond who didn't pursue a singing career at a later age, he was a cute kid, cute voice, but once puberty hit, that was it, career over. But the thing I think really changed this show and invited the Shark over for a visit was when they moved the show from LA, to Utah and changed the whole feel of the show, from the beginning it was a campy variety show, but the change to Utah and including the whole family just didn't work and caused the whole show to lose it original appeal.

I was in third grade and this was my must-see Friday night ritual! I had purple socks with silver threads running though them that I thought were so cool, but then my best friend got "official" Donny and Marie purple socks and I was very depressed. And I remember clearly the night Marie wore the boots and one was thigh high and the other was real short...does anyone else remember that!?! I am a shoe-aholic now thanks to those boots!

I seem to remember a particularly lame Christmas episode. All the stockings were hung and that little puss-whack Jimmy had a huge stocking. When Donnie asked him about it, Jimmy said, "I'm expecting a bike." And the audience roared. I just wanted to shoot everybody in sight and I was only about eight years old.

When Donny sang Country and Marie sang Rock and Roll (and Jimmy tried to 'sing' Disco) all in the same show. Marie had the theme song to the show's ending wallpapered in her dressing room. She nearly quit the show the second season because she saw Donny getting chummy with a girl before a taping. My sister used to work on the show in 76 and 77.

The show jumped the shark when it became "The Osmond Family Hour." I hold these truths to be self-evident: 1) that NOBODY CARES about any Osmond other than Donny and Marie; 2) that airing against "60 Minutes" didn't help; and 3) that in terms of their careers, both Donny and Marie have jumped the shark (Donny for hosting "Pyramid," causing it to jump; and Marie for hawking collectible dolls on QVC, a Day One shark jumper).