Shark Bytes

I remember watching the promos for this show before it aired and thinking what a horrible, piece of tripe it was going to be - and it was, but it was entertaining tripe. Like the proverbial car crash, I knew I shouldn't be looking but was. The women were total sleazes, the guy was as dumb as a bag of hammers but I watch every episode. Like Hank Hill says in a King of the Hill episode: I didn't know whether to laugh or vomit but watch it I did. So I guess it jumped from the beginning but was still riveting. And now that I've admitted liking the show I think I'll go take a shower now.

I don't care what anyone says, Joe Millionaire was brilliant. From Evan firing a champagne cork over the balcony and getting yelled at in French, to "Who doesn't like goat cheese?", to Sarah's "Did you think that would be a problem?" when the twist was finally revealed; this show contained some of the greatest unintentional comedy that I have ever seen on television. Absolute classic. The only problem was when Fox got greddy and debuted a second season. There was no way they were going to recreate the magic a second time. I find it best to just pretend the second season never happened.

Joe Millionaire NEVER jumped. It was train-wreck television at its finest. It was hilarious seeing a bunch of gold-diggers get their own one by one, and at the end, Zora got rewarded by splitting the 1 mil with Evan. I love that Evan got to go at it with them all too, adding insult to injury when they found out he was a $19 thousand a year construction worker. Absolute trash, totally immoral, and an object lesson on how to never judge a book by its cover. Well done Fox!

Joe Millionaire jumped when they said his name was Evan Marriott. No one who last name is Marriott is a construction worker.

I enjoyed the second season of Joe Millionaire much more than the first season because the "Joe" David was much more charming and likeable than dumbstruck Evan...and all the of Euro-trash girls were outrageous...I loved Olinda, the catty Swedish fashion designer who kept criticizing the other girls for their English mistakes...but her English grammar was pretty bad too! And all the Euro girls smoked all the time which was really trashy...I guess a culture clash...anyway, I thought the show was going to make it without Jumping The Shark- but it DID when the producers let Linda come back when she left early on...then she came back and WON David?! That was totally unfair because all the other girls had many more dates and spent more time with him...she only had like 2 dates originally with him then she leaves for a few weeks and they allow her to come back...she wasn't as charismatic as that Olinda...she should have come back...I think something was going on between David and Linda when the cameras were off because it seemed weird to the audience that David fell in love with this girl who left the show early on...

I wonder if anyone noticed this little detail: First episode, after the European girls were up all night drinking and partying, they are woken up early in the morning. As they wake up, presumably hungover and tired, they are mumbling and griping to themselves. They were speaking English. Now, I ask you, how likely is it that a foreign speaker, a split second after waking up with a massive hangover, is going to be speaking fluent English. This show is rigged, pure and simple. One way or another, every scene of this show is being planned and filmed in a method not being revealed to the audience. Not that I care. As they said in the movie "Quiz show" "Everyone knows they don't saw the lady in half." Anyway you look at it, this show is crap. Watch "Joe Schmo" if you want to see a good, original reality show. At least there, you know that the producers are manipulating the whole show.

I never thought I would say this, but David Smith, the next Joe Millionaire, makes Evan Marriott look like Einstein. A not-too-swift hunk that looks like a Cheers-era Woody Harrelson. It's soooo obvious that these European broads are golddiggers. They made fun of the fact that he's a cowboy by humming the theme from DALLAS, but once the "80 million dollar inheritance" was brought up, they changed their tune pretty quickly. And we have yet another host (Samantha Harris, I believe her name is) that's hardly ever seen. Why not just make Paul Hogan (the butler, not Crocodile Dundee) the host? He practically is with his opening and closing speech, sipping liquor by the fireplace. And what's with the opening credits that look like a Marlboro ad?

The casting directors at Fox are geniuses! They have cast the one guy in the entire world who makes Evan--the first Joe Millionaire--look like Einstein. When he was learning about the 14 women, he didn't seem to know where Amsterdam was, let alone Holland..(You know--where they wear the wooden shoes). It makes you long for the stimulating, thought-provoking conversations of the first season. I guess Fox can't cancel this one, but, unless there's a "startling" twist, I don't think too many people will be around for the end of it.

Everybody knows, or should know, that a real cowboy never gives his heart to a woman, any woman; he saves it for his horse. I won't be surprised if, at the end of the day, David decides his horse is "purtier" than any of these European "fillies", picks one of them more or less at random, splits the money with her, then rides off into the sunset.

Seriously, this show jumped the second it thought it had a chance at more than one season. The whole premise was it being a surprise, not only to the girls (which I suppose it still is) but to the viewers. It lost the viewer surprise after the first season. On top of that, the endless promotion by FOX, including the blonde "He's rich"

This is a god awful piece of television. Not only does it tell women it's okay to be a gold digger, they cast total morons to play the "prince charming". Evan was just a crackhead, and now they have some redneck as the lead. Way to go, FOX. This would be better suited on MTV, they already have horrid shows.

Unfortunately, if the previews are accurate, it doesn't look as if David Smith is gonna be able to maintain this charade for very long with 14 foreigners. Why did he feel the need to look for a foreign girl instead of an American, you ask? Because the producers didn't feel they could catch North America with its pants down a second time, especially with Sarah Kozer's cover story. I think I'll stick with the Bachelor.

My co-workers hounded me into giving this "reality" show a chance. I just don't get it, and I tried, because damn, it's all they talked about at work, it's all my mother talked about when we got on the phone, long distance, mind you. Sure, there's something satisfying about seeing these gold digging hussies get theirs. I have zero respect for anyone that is interested in someone for money, because, well, that's prostitution, no matter how subtle. It's just cheap, and while watching these women make asses of themselves made it watchable for the first few times, it just wasn't enough for me, and I admitted to myself that it jumped clear over the shark on Day One. None of these people are likable enough for me to care about what they do, or how they end up. Even eye candy boy, nice as he was portrayed, had this look in his eye that I've seen in guys at bars that try and get your number. Cute and all, but there was something about him that would have made me give this one an out of service number and make sure that I don't go into the parking lot without a trusted friend.

So Fox is moving "Joe Millionaire" to Europe and have our phony millionaire pose as an American cattleman. This show will do nothing but confirm two European stereotypes about Americans: That we are all cowboys, and we are all dishonest.

So the second one will reel in the foreign women. Are they the only ones who didn't watch the first debacle?